Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6168 of 6373
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To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To get it in, you push it. Threading a needle isn't easy...
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12-04-2021 15:35 by M*
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I just found out Donald Trump is actually vaccinated. What's up with that!? What a traitor!
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12-04-2021 17:55
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If you notice, 2021 backwards is 1202. If you take away the 1 and the 0, you'll have 22. It doesn't mean anything but thanks for reading.
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12-04-2021 19:00
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If you look at "OMICRON," add the letters "SETAGLLIB" and then remove the letters "NORCIMO," the remaining letters spell "BILL GATES." Makes you think, doesn’t it?
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12-04-2021 22:36 by Redwave
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Burn a body in a crematorium and you're "being respectful". . . Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence".
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12-05-2021 19:05
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ATTENTION EVERYONE: I have an announcement to make. Santa just confirmed that I have been very good this year!
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Christmas is truly a magical time. It's made all my money disappear!
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Omicron and Delta is an anagram for Media Control.
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12-06-2021 16:27
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Dear Facebook: Stop suggesting people I may know. Yes I know them. But I don't like them.
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12-06-2021 20:23
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Everything I know about dancing I learned from the Charlie Brown Christmas party.
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I'm all for minorities being able to vote, as long as they vote for Trump.
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12-07-2021 11:38 by RedWave
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I don't know why people see a stutter as being a negative thing. I love people with stutters. It's like they're giving you a drum roll before they start talking.
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I just want to be fit enough to put my seatbelt on, without crying.
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12-07-2021 20:14 by DocNoland
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Here's a Christmas Idea for yas... Cheech and Chong advent calendars with 1 gram of different weed a day .
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12-07-2021 21:52
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Dear Santa: Either you give me what I want for Christmas or I'll turn Rudolph and Comet into a piece of deer jerky. Make it happen, fat man!
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perkatory (PUR kah tawr ē) n.: The anguished, prolonged period of time waiting for a fresh pot of coffee to finish brewing.
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12-08-2021 10:14
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Took my car into the mechanic. It was making a horrible high-pitched squeal. He said it was coming from the the Mariah Carey Christmas CD.
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12-08-2021 18:09 by DJJackson
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It's all fun and games. . . Until Santa checks the naughty list.
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12-08-2021 20:02
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Can't wait for the fat man to show up on Christmas eve, and no I'm not talking about Trump.
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12-08-2021 21:37
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Jussie, you've been found guilty but please don't beat yourself up over it.
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12-09-2021 22:16
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