Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I'd like to give a big shoot-out to the Earps and the Clantons

   If Ireland contributed to the Perseverance Mission, would that make it an Irish Rover?

   Gas prices are soaring and inflation around the corner, but thank God their are no offensive tweets.

   Hey, Coca-Cola! I don't know how to be "less white", but I do know how to drink less Coke.

   PSA: Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they still fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

   The joy you get as a parent when you buy a big pizza and garlic bread to share, but they don’t like it!

   Hey, NASA, do you mind looking for my son’s shoe while you’re on Mars? He’s looked “everywhere.”

   I’m tired of people complaining about $7.00 dollars beers, $10.00 dollars parking, and $20.00 dollars cover charge. Don’t like the prices? Stop coming to my house.

   How to win an argument with a woman: 1. Too late, you’re already wrong.

   Wear a sombrero to the next wedding you’re invited too. Long after they’re divorced they’ll talk about the guy in the sombrero.

   Jo I hate it when tramps sit next to cash machines and ask you for change, cash machines only give out notes. If you want change, go sit next to a pay phone!

   A thing I learned during the past four years: Bad behavior gets you nowhere.

   What is another name for a farting contest? A wind-wind situation!

   Fun Fact: At the end of Titanic, when all the people are dying in the water, you can hear a faint, "Marco" and then an even fainter, "Polo."

   I'm also writing to make you be aware of what a incredible encounter our princess enjoyed reading through yuor web blog. She realized a good number of things, which include how it is like to have an excellent coaching nature to make men and women really e

   n Germany they are preparing for the crisis by stocking up with sausage and cheese. That’s the Wurst Käse scenario.

   My dear Girl ..I also became a writer by writing and wtiting about you .. !!

   Prepare for what you can't Predict & Adapt for what you can't Control.

   You know what it means now that Mr. Potato Head has been made gender neutral? Yep. No more Tater Tots.

   If you think that a mustache is what made Mr. Potato Head gender specific, you've never met my cousin Vincenza.