Funny Status Messages

   Leaders who have hidden in a bunker and gassed their own citizens include Saddam Hussein, Adolf Hitler and Donald Trump. 

   I'm almost to the point of thinking that the only thing that can unite us is a Netflix show about a gay zoo owner, with a platinum blonde mullet.

   I’m convinced that Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars are made by Dyson.

   🎶 ...No mask on your face You big disgrace Spreadin' your germs all over the place... 🎶

   Dr. Fauci said we must limit stores to 10 looters at a time.

   For a year numbered 2020, it's amazing how blind some folks can be.

   Obviously stupidity is much more contagious than Covid19

   Before you come out to the country, remember we'll sit in a tree all day waiting to kill something.

   I drive more safely when there's food in the passenger seat than when there's a person sitting there...

   People who confuse the word "burro" with "burrow" don't know their ass from a hole in the ground.

   The key to a really good breakup is just to think “What would Meg Ryan do?” Sure, you’ll still be a sad, sniffling, anxious mess, but now you’ll be an adorable, sad, sniffling anxious mess.

   World’s Most Dangerous Bees 6. Honey 5. Killer 4. Fris 3. Hucka 2. Zom 1. Apple

   I tossed my billiard table into the bathtub. Now I have a swimming pool.

   My stomach is upset but my kidneys are just disappointed

   I miss going to weddings just to bring home the centerpieces.

   Cheesecake Factory to start reopening restaurants but they will only have a limited 413-page menu.

   soup was invented in 1927 by John Soup when he wanted to drink a chicken

   two babies starting a true crime podcast about who got their nose

   we are making money again... markets are going up up up

   Cant we have a cage match Antifa vs, KKK instead of riots?