Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   30 million women marched to the polls back in November and voted for Trump.

   Meanwhile one million men got to enjoy a quiet afternoon at home without anyone nagging them.

   New England Patriots haters be like "I refuse to accept the results of the AFC Championship game. Tomorrow I'll be protesting, picketing, looting, rioting, and forming support groups. #NotMySuperBowl "

   There are only two things in this world that smell like fish. One of them is fish.

   The packers were in it right up until the end of the national anthem.

   Learn from your mistakes? It is far better to observe the stupidity of other people and learn from that.

   This is how my week goes: moooooooooooonday.. tuuuuuuuuuuuesday... weeeeeeeeeednesday... thuuuuuuuuuursday.. fridaysaturdaysunday....

   I feel an originality rush coming on. Think I'll make a dog face on Snapchat.

   I'm really not a "know it all"... For instance, up until recently, I thought cunnilingus was an Irish Airline.

   Trump got more women to walk in 1 day than Michelle Obama did in 8 years

   I just saw Luke Bryan is singing the National Anthem at the Superbowl. So I thought I'd post a preview for everyone....Oh Girl can you see by my pickup's headlights what so proudly we hail on the old dirt road ...

   BREAKING: White House informs the public of excess bread in America resulting from a lack of sandwiches being made this weekend.

   I caught my third girlfriend cheating on me. I only have two left now, makes me sick.

   No matter who's president , Elvis is still the king

   Alternative facts. What most good and honorable americans call lies. May God have mercy on our souls.

   Agree or disagree with the Trump protesters....he got more people walking in 1 day than Michelle Obama did in 8 years

   n't the bigger question: How many people attended the Hillary Inauguration?

   Patriots are going to the Superbowl....The NFL is going to assign someone to check Tom Brady's balls throughout the game....don't want that on my resume

   If you're a welder than knows how to lay pipe, you're about to get RICH , !!!!!!

   there any way to really know how many camouflage shirts are in your house?