Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   So I wonder if George Michael woke anyone up before he go go'ed, I know he was not planning on going solo...

   Yeah, I saw that meme too. Nice originality Delta Oscar Uniform Charlie Hotel Echo, Bravo Alpha Golf

   Whose job was it to "Wake him up" before they lefy

   Why should Obama treat Nutandyahoo any differently than the way he treats Obama? My main complaint is the fact that Nutandyahoo bypassed Obama, the sitting president, to address congress last year. Who the hell does he think he is? Payback s a bi*ch ain't

   The label says "Alcohol may intensify the effects of this medication." My question is, is this a warning or a suggestion?

   Your display of ignorance is astounding. There are three separate and equal branches of government. Israel's PM, who is ten times the man odumma can ever hope to be, does not need permission from the Executive Branch to speak to the Legislative Branch.

   So where did all those sapiosexuals disappear to ? Or was it a phase ?

   I feel a disturbance in the Force. RIP Carrie Fisher.

   My girl has the crabs, I suggested fishnet stockings.

   I slept with this girl, and in the morning I asked her if she wanted breakfast in bed. She said one pig in the blanket was enough.

   You go to the refrigerator to see if something is appealing and later on you return to see if anything is appealing as if something magically appeared. Same as checking Facebook throughout the day- the same ol' over and over.

   PRO TIP : EX-LAX AND SLEEPING PILLS DON'T MIX

   there a way I can trade Kanye West, the Kardasians, and the Jersey Shore cast for one of the "Good ones" that died in 2016? Would throw Kathy Griffin in if it helps.

   Apparently my snoring is louder than my cars sound system .

   When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

   The man who discovered copper died penniless

   Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take Kanye too!

   So 2016 Took a Prince and a Princess...Damn

   I heard George's friends tried to wake him up before they had to GoGo, but apparent he was suffering from a fatal case of the Jitterbug. ... too soon?

   Apparently there are some "Careless Whispers" about how George Michaels passed away. .... Still too soon?