Monday Funny Status Messages

   Presidents Day is just another Monday I'm celebrating Sarah Palin not being president

   Just saw a "dance" pole listed on Craigslist at 10pm Monday, Feb. 14th…opened but not used…unappreciated Valentine gift?

   it's Monday everyone, hope you've had your Tiger's Blood!

   I had my dose of monday Tiger Blood, but I broke my freaking dragon tooth.

   Snooki is going to be hosting WWE raw on monday. Finally, a good match for Hornswoggle

   I hate it when Pi Day falls on a Monday!

   plan for the day. 1. get off work and drink till Monday. 2.figure the rest out later

   if you listen very carefully you can hear Monday sharpen her claws in the distance

   My April Fools' Day prank at airport security did not go well. You may not see me Monday.

   If Monday had a face, I'd punch it.

   Rain on a Monday, in spite of the fact we need the rain, is unacceptable. Mother Nature will be hearing from my attorney.

   Dear Monday, Please don't be a snatch today. Please pass on the message to the rest of the week...Thanks

   Monday sure is an awful way to spend 1/7th of our life......

   It would have been a more believable story if Jesus had died on a Monday and then rose again on a Saturday, just like I do every week.

   Shouln't the Monday after Easter Sunday be known as Egg Salad Monday?

   Monday is the strongest day of all the weekdays, even though it is cursed by every other person in this world, it still exists

   Today the rest of you women don't matter til' Monday...and when Tuesday rolls around a couple of you still won't matter.

   Why is Monday so far away from Friday but Friday is so close to Monday?

   Monday is like a midget at a urinal...You have to be on your toes!!

   I like to spend my Monday mornings avoiding people who might ask about my weekend.