life Funny Status Messages

   Trying to find your phone when its on silent is one of life`s hardest tasks.

   If my death is as extraordinary as my life... then I should go quietly in my sleep.

   When life seems to have turned it's back on you,stand up and kick it in the ass.

   Troubles keep me interested in my life :)

   If I blocked you on Facebook, what makes you think I want to talk to you in real life?

   When people say “I'm not getting any younger!” I wonder what other basic life concepts they just figured out

   Life is not about what you wanna do, it's about what you can do...

   One life to live cancelled and Osama finally comes out of his cave. Coincidence?

   I was offered a job today.......Al Qaeda need,s a new leader...I had to turn it down ....couldn't get life insurance

   Using a very sophisticated algorithm, I have determined that the taxes that were deducted on my Oct 22 paycheck were used to purchase the bullet used to end Osama's life. You may thank me now, or just send money in lieu of a thank you.

   "After seeing Kate and William getting married and the Pope's beatification this weekend, my life is complete. I don't care if I die tomorrow" - Osama Bin Laden

   Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills…making the last car payment.

   Dear Mr. Chip bag thank you for telling me that 23 peices equal one serving. However, I need clarification on the exact size of your standard chip. Perhaps a life size picture on the bag would help.

   Cheated on Facebook with my real life today.

   It is well documented that for every minute that you exercise, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

   Fortune Cookie: "Your life will be happy and peaceful." Dear Cookie, What drugs are you on, we should share

   pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.

   Life log: It has been 19 days since the playstation has gone down.Everything seems so real.

   Life can be like a prick, Sometimes it gets hard for no apparent reason.

   Happy Mother's Day to all the Mother's that have touched my life and an unhappy one to all the Motherf#*ckers that I encounter everyday!