santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Any of my friends who believe the "Mayan's Prediction" please let me know as soon as possible. Your opinion will only be based on this years Christmas gifts. Thanks :)

   My lack of Christmas shopping is pretty much dependent on the Mayans being right

   Choosing someone based on their looks, is like picking a Christmas gift based on the wrapping paper.

   with the upcoming end of the world quickly approaching, in lieu of Christmas cards this year, I have sent out checks out to all my friends in the amount of $1,000,000 post dated 12/22/2012. Good luck finding a bank that isn't under water everyone!

   In Dec, cops should take off the blue lights and make them green. It's more festive... Like getting pulled over by Santa.

   For some reason, they dont seem to be marketing the Tickle Me Elmo as heavily this Christmas.

   Just got a peek at Santa's naughty list! Amazingly, it's almost identical to my friends list. Can't believe some of the things you people have done!

   My letter to Santa starts something like this: Dear Santa, My sister did it..

   I can barely hear the songs on this Christmas station over the sound of the DJ choking himself with a belt.

   Donated blood for the needy since it is Xmas. Now I just have to find a Salvation Army bucket to put this Ziploc baggie in.

   I think there should be a special place in hell for whoever invented those strings of Christmas lights that wont work at all or blink half assed because one damn bulb is blown!

   I don't always cut down a fresh Christmas tree..but when I do, I pick the best one in my neighbors yard ;)

   All I want for Christmas is you.... to get run over by a reindeer!!!

   Even before my very first birthday I was able to sense it was Christmastime. No...it wasn't Santa, Rudolph, Frosty, Nativity scenes, or a Christmas Tree. It was 'cause my mom put eggnog in my bottle.

   Santa's reindeer, Donder? Didn't know that, though it was Donner

   Tampon makers have announced that they will be replacing their tampon string with tinsel. They'll only be available for the Christmas period.

   Santa is really going to love the cookies he gets from Colorado and Washington this year..

   The real magic of Christmas is how quickly money vanishes from my wallet.

   Hey teenage girls, Santa saw your facebook. Now you're only getting clothes and a dictionary for Christmas.

   On the 12th day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me- 12 people I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 holiday pet pictures, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, fiiiivvvvee drama queeeennss, 4 game requests, 3 p