Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   they do not celebrate the 4th of July in Mexico so why am I celebrating the 5th of May here? I don't need an excuse to drink tequila; that is a nightly occurrence...

   I've created a Facebook group called "Threesome" and invited two girls. Now just waiting and see what happens..

   Whenever I talk to Americans I get the feeling that they just think of us Canadians as "those-hockey-loving-white-Mexicans".

   Jesus is coming, Quick, look busy

   just paid my electric bill, so i'm kinda low on the stuff we trade out for those ice cold beers

   If your Mexican, iFeliz Cinco de Mayo!. If you are Latin-American, Happy Cinco de Mayo! If you are none of these cultures, Happy Wednesday

   Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

   we need to stop blaming obama for everything bush screwed up..then stop blaming bush for everything Clinton screwed up and then...oh you get it.

   she touched the rainbow, she felt the rainbow n its nothin lik SKITTLES!!!!!!!

   If a man appears sexy, caring and smart give him a day or two...he'll be back to his usual self.

   If you can't multi-task, why should I. your computer

   lets just melt the ice... that will stop the smoke and i'll be on the plane again!!!

   Who the hell does my cat keep sleeping with to fall pregnant - she's the neighbourhood sharmouta :( I raised a skanky cat !!! *TEARS*

   Loosely translated, Cinco de Mayo means "destroy their livers."

   thinks life ws much easier when Apples & Blackberies were just fruits.

   I play farmville and cafe world on facebook. Does that mean I have to file self employed on my taxes?

   closed captions are like reading a book, except this book rocks!

   I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom took away his WII, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own a$$

   My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.

   Liquor & poker...or just play cards!!!