life Funny Status Messages
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There are two rules to success in life - 1. Don't tell people everything you know 
As I slide down this bannister we call life, you, and you alone, are the splinter in my ass
In the movie of life, I'd probably be credited as "Bar Guy #3".
They never should have made the game life. I was under the misconception that it was as easy as rolling dice, getting awarded a job, and stacking pegs on top of your car.
I bought a goldfish... named it after my ex-girlfriend and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Everything I need to know in life I learned in kindergarten... if you poop your pants they let you go home.
Ok Charlie , If thats winning I want to be a loser the rest of my life
gonna go out and make a difference in the life of America's youth tonight!!! There is a lot of teachable amounts in the champagn room
spring cleaning time. while your at it get rid of those people who are only bringin you down and taking up space in your life.
Just got an extra quarter while getting my change from the soda machine. THUG LIFE.
when life gives you dilemmas, make dilemmanade!
Worst possible life moment.... Driving down the interstate, a few miles past the "next exit 80 miles" sign, and you realize you have a sudden onset of diahrrea
Despite a great life, I feel all empty inside, Must be time for lunch.
Hollywood are already planning a movie about the life of Elizabeth Taylor. It's provisionally titled 'Eight Weddings and a Funeral'.
Life is like Facebook. People will like your problems & comment, but no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs
MONEY can't buy life, but can give you a lot of fake friends. Beware!
My probation officer didn't check on me tonight.....THUG LIFE
Dodged another windshield today.....BUG LIFE.
When the Snake is alive, the Snake eats Ants. When the Snake is dead, Ants eat the Snake. Time can turn at any time. Don't neglect anyone in your life........
Happy Wife = Happy Life [Search Results] [View All Messages]
