Funny Status Messages

   If we can have HD video from Mars,,, then I should have 4 bars on my phone everywhere I go.

   I call "dibs" again this year for "Tanning Mom" as a Halloween costume.

   If you have a recycling bin full of cans with holes from a 22. Then sure, we can be friends

   Dog owner tip: Never entrust your dog to watch your food for you.

   God I hate Democrats!

   Adam and Eve had two kids, both boys. But there were new babies born after. This story is in the same book that claims incest is wrong.

   October is breast awareness month for women, men are usually aware of breasts all year round.

   Inner beauty is just code for when we go out you're buying your own drinks.

   With the gov't shutdown, who will protect our borders? Asking for an amigo...

   Are the ATF and border patrols also shutdown? Asking for a Mexican friend....

   "okay okay...I'm up" - Green Day

   CNN Breaking news: Grand Canyon is closed, please don't look if you are driving or flying through.....

   GOP= Greed Over People

   This shutdown seems to be bringing out the inner-retard in everyone.

   When Iran and Syria are able to compromise more then Republicans, you know our country has a problem.

   CNN Breaking news: Due to Government Shutdown, all the aliens in Area 51 have been released......

   If our Government shuts down how much Electricity will we save?

   Why does FB show me people I "may" know, LAWD these are ugly people, stop it!

   The guys at Home Depot must take classes to know exactly what I meant by "the little thing next to that one piece with the round thing."

   Just like the Government....I feel shut-down when my wife talks too much too....