Funny Status Messages

   it OK if I abbreviate Oklahoma?

   Sandi Jackson just changed her facebook status to taking the kids to Grandpa Jesses house for a while

   Patti Blagojevich just change her status to we got so screwed with out sentencing

   My wife says "YOU'RE DRUNK!" like it is a bad thing.

   so Jessie Jackson JR gets a 2 1/2yr sentence and Blago got 14 years...... So can this make up for the Martin Verdict?

   Egypt is burning. Let them deal with their own crazies. It is none of our business. We have enough problems back here in the US.

   Michael J. Fox etch-a-sketched the entire New York City skyline in 4 seconds.

   What is the difference between a Porsche and a porcupine?.... The porcupine has the pricks on the outside....

   Asked my wife to try A nal and she turned into the rhubarb lady...

   Wait!! Its Tim Tebow's birthday today and Tom Brady got hurt..... Jesus take the wheel.

   My girl brought me breakfast in bed, I slowly turned to her and said, ?What are you doing out of the Kitchen??

   "Yes, officer, I know I was speeding, but in my defense, I ALWAYS held down the B button while playing Super Mario Brothers". 

   M L B suspended A-Rod, proving that cheaters never prosper. They just get $350M and a World Series ring while boning models.

   Today was somewhat embarrassing. It was only after I started dancing in the food court - alone - that I learned flash mobs are planned.

   Faldo..go eat a snickers. yyou're stupid when you're hungry.

   if men could have multiple 0rgasms, lotions would cost more than an iPhone.

   After all these years together my wife and I have finally reach the S & M phase of our relationship,,,,,,,,,She Sleeps while I Masturbate.

   Considering their thousand-year old dirty little secret, I wonder if the Vatican gets Amber alerts?

   SIGN: *jesus recycling shoes*....... "What are you doing there Jesus?"... "Oh, you know, just,,, Saving soles."...

   My son asked me to explain women to him, so I bought him an XBOX game for his Playstation.