"new york" Funny Status Messages

   The new “Godzilla” movie opened worldwide yesterday. They say New York City could survive a Godzilla attack. Seriously? It takes five cops to handle Alec Baldwin when he's riding his bike the wrong way

   Being a New York Jets fan is like watching Titanic every Sunday and cheering for the boat.

   Yesterday the DEA raided several NFL teams suspected of giving prescription painkillers to their players. In its defense, the New York Jets’ doctor said, "We don't give painkillers to our players. We give them to our fans.

   Due to extreme weather in upstate New York, some drivers were stranded in their cars for up to 36 hours. It was intense. Some of them reported hearing that new Taylor Swift song on the radio as many as 100 times....

   I think New York has finally been around long enough that we can just start to call it York now.

   Was visiting New York and asked someone, "How do I get to Carnegie hall?" The said, "Practice man, practice."

   How great will it be when Trump steps up to the podium after accepting the Republican nomination and says "Live from New York, it's Saturday night"....

   A girl asked me if I wanted to go back to her place last night. She then proceeded to tell me she lived in a van with four roommates. That's New York City for yah!!!

   Based on my experiences in the New York City subway system, Jehovah's Witnesses are a source of renewable energy.

   Living in New York City is having constant road rage even though you don't own a car.

   I watched some of the debate last night...I kept on waiting for someone to say "Live from New York it's Saturday Nite"!!!!! But it never happened.....

   I'm convinced. New York has the largest demographic of nit-wits of any city on the planet.

   If Trump's nose grew every time he told a lie, Melania could wipe his nose for him in New York when he is sniffling in Washington.

   Republican Marriages: To avoid temptation, Mike Pence won't dine alone with women. To avoid temptation, Melania Trump lives in New York.

   New York: We just had a storm with 50 mph winds. Oklahoma: Hold my beer...

   You can take the New Yorker out of New York, but you can't take the New York out of the New Yorker.

   If Rudy Giuliani gets a divorce in New York, are he and his wife still cousins?

   "The New York marathon was found to be a more efficient way to get around the city."

   Amazon just broke up with New York... on Valentine's Day...

   i saw a license plate yesterday that said 'i miss new york,' so I smashed their window and stole their radio