Funny Status Messages

   Blowing out birthday candles,, must be really frustrating for baby dragons.

   fyi: The cure for food poisoning is NOT Taco Bell.

   A woman with big boobs will never truly know if she's actually interesting.

   I could really use some TLC.....Tacos Laced with Cocaine.

   Finding a true friend is about as easy as nailing jello to a tree.

   There's a light is in the refrigerator, but not the freezer. I mean, what's up with that?

   Your body should be a temple, not an amusement park.

   I'm going to cover my entire body in bacon so I can become more desirable.

   Just beat a mime to death with my air guitar.

   Everyone has their area of expert knowledge.... if any of you need tips on how to do absolutely nothing amazingly well, let me know.

   Since girls pubes are extinct, we'll will never know your real hair color. Well played ladies...

   still can't smell what The Rock is cooking, can you?

   can see John Cena, when will he realise that a big bulky man like that with bright clothes is quite easy to see, everyone can see you.

   more arrogance than Rick 'The Model' Martel

   Terrible 2's->sweet 16->slutty 18-> Alcoholic 21

   Apparently, you can only say "look at you! You got so big!" to children,,, old girlfriends tend to get offended.

   Every time Beyoncé types out her name, she has to google "Pokémon" and then copy/paste the "é".

   Got a paper cut turning the pages in my self-defense book.

   Who ever said talk is cheap never got a bill from a lawyer for a 30 minute consultation.

   One of the hardest things I ever had to do as a kid was OPEN a Band-Aid with a cut finger... using a stupid red string.