Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   just had a green beer to celebrate St. Patricks Day... just wish someone had told me that it had been sitting out since new years!!!

   Kiss me I'm not Irish

   Why is the jeopardy theme song stuck in my head? its giving me a false sense of anxiety...

   What do you say when an atheist sneezes...?

   People with high I.Q.'s should get to vote twice.

   thinks he might be addicted to Facebook because he's seeing a lot of random people around the city, that he's already seen on Facebook....

   Why do leprechauns laugh when they run...? cuz the grass tickles their nuts..

   I'm sorry liver...its St Patricks day. You can file the restraining order tomorrow.

   it takes 42 muscles to frown, But it only takes 4 muscles to extend ur arm out and smack'em in the head...

   Do not get me near any electronics or appliances.. apparently I turn on EVERYTHING !!!

   If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky?

   wearing his traditional Irish none-derwear!

   Have you ever noticed that Gatorade doesn't work on guys who suck?

   gave an atheist a bible today, he just couldn't believe it.

   YAWN so I can see if you're the one...

   Sarcastically Delicious!!!

   Damn my liver just pinched my ass,dosnt this green beer count?

   Dear haters, you cant fully find happiness if you cant just leave me alone to be happy

   I'm not insensitive, I just don't care.

   it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on facebook people that you do know, but deliberately choose not to be friends with?