santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   ...just heard that Tampax is replacing the strings with tinsel this month. ...Ladies, get them soon, supplies only last for the the Christmas period!

   Dear Santa, Don't bother coming to my house this year. I've been naughty and it was f*cking worth it, you judgemental son of a b*tch!

   thinks Santa is a judgemental twat who bears a grudge. I've explained the Elves incident a hundred times now. So what if I was caught naked with one of his helpers in a cupboard, it was all an innocent mistake!

   A poll found that 55 percent of shoppers start their Christmas shopping the day after Thanksgiving. The other 45 percent are men.

   if it weren't for the presents and money think about how terrifying it would be to our children that a fat man, a fairy and a giant rabbit break into their houses every year...

   Santa must be a man. No woman would be caught dead wearing the same clothes every Christmas!

   went into a elementary school and told the kids santa isnt real

   I was thinking about becoming an atheist, but I thought screw it, you don't get any holidays.

   has found an artificial leg on a bus and is going to give it to his wife as a Xmas present. It should make the ideal stocking filler!

   MERRY XMAS EVERYONE (Yes I know it's a bit early, but I thought I'd start with you miserable and argumentative plebs first!)

   learned that the best gift of chirstmas is seeing the disappointment in a childs face when you tell them santa isn't real.

   ....MMmmm Santa, I'm so naughty I'll turn your HO HO HO into OH OH OH!!

   Let's start a post that will be positive . . . . What is on your Christmas wish list?? (in the real world, of course we'd all like more money, etc....)

   Chasing a FAT MAN in red with salad, Oh It's SANTA

   that if an old, fat man comes down you chimney tonight, creeps into your bedroom and kidnaps you don't worry! I asked santa for a friend for christmas and he is just getting me one :)

   Men can do their Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Christmas Eve in 25 minutes.

   Christmas used to be the best when I believed in Santa Claus....i wanna be 15 again

   I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark

   : Dear Santa, For being so good this year, can I get a look at that naughty girls list?

   I'm dreaming of a melty turquoise Christmas. And sugar plums are fighting lesbian dragons in my head. This LSD-nog is fantastic.