friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   Dear world, please don't end till after after my four day weekend is complete. Thank you.

   When the world ends tomorrow, I hope it is after 5:00 pm, because I won't get paid for the holiday if I don't work Friday.

   Well unfortunately this year again, I didnt get to buy any kid's gift on Black Friday. So I'm getting them the usual Xmas present. A big pack of batteries and attach a card to it that says "Toys not Included"..... It's the thought that counts right?

   Jesus went to a dinner party on thursday, he woke up crucified on friday and he resurrected on sunday. Sounds a lot like my weekends.

   hope the weekend comes as fast as my ex

   Who do atheists thank for Friday?

   I'm gonna wear dockers with my Hawaiian shirt to work this Friday

   What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and becomes immortal. Is it Commando Friday yet?

   FRIDAY......My second favorite F word

   its Friday so you know what that means. I'm busy memorizing my spontaneous, sassy banter I'll use at the bar tonight!!

   I don't mean to brag, but after 30 years of marriage, my wife and I still have sex almost every night. We almost had it Friday night, almost Saturday, almost… ツ

   I have an actual date this weekend so if any of you are in love with me, you better say something or forever hold your peace.

   Bank called asking if my credit card had been stolen. They were concerned because it hadn't been used at the liquor store since Friday.

   The search for Friday night is followed much too quickly by the discovery of Monday morning.

   Friday! There you are, you sexy son of a btich! We've been lookin for you since Monday!

   Why are you all so excited it's Friday? Monday will be here in 5 minutes.

   Sorry you're an atheist and have no one to thank its Friday.

   FYI Atheist do not have to thank anyone for Friday because Friday is a free natural phenomenon.

   Got big plans for the weekend. If things go well, come Monday morning I'm gonna need a chiropractor, a psychiatrist and a priest.

   Weekend forecast: feasting, imbibing and severe debauchering!