santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Congrats on ur Bar Mitzvah. Today you r a man, which you'll now illustrate by going apes*** over presents.

   Christmas is my favorite four months of the year.

   I didn't sleep very well last night. everybody's going to get a shamwow and pajama jeans for christmas. damn you infomercials!!!!

   My parents accused me of being a liar. So I looked them straight in the eye and said "Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause, Easter Bunny." And walked away like a boss

   Why is "Children in need" always towards christmas time? Having to give gifts to the kids I already know is hard enough, but I have worked it out, their more happy with an empty box then the gift...

   I'm collecting every toy that the neighbors kid throws in my yard, I already have tons of Christmas presents for my nieces and nephews this year!

   Nothing says to a robber, "I have brand new never before opened electronics piled up in my living room." Like a Christmas tree.

   santa was right when he looked at you and said "ho ho ho"

   If ‘ifs' and ‘buts' were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas.

   Seen a baby wearing a shirt saying; "Santa doesn't exist, but that's okay, because I can't read."

   It looks like your supermarket is dressing up as Christmas for Halloween.

   I can't decide whether The Nightmare Before Christmas is a Halloween movie or a Christmas movie.

   I think my neighbor it drunk, he is taking his Christmas lights down!

   Time to go out and pretend I'm putting up Christmas lights I never took down from last year.

   Why are Halloween costumes so skanky??? Sorry Christmas, "ho ho ho" is now a more appropriate greeting for Halloween...

   It looks like my town's Home Depot is dressing up as Christmas for Halloween ,,,,,,, Really?

   I'll be spending most of today putting Santa hats on all my Halloween decorations...

   Just thinking of how confusing it would be to all the little tricker treaters if I dressed up as santa for Halloween and handed out candy.....

   "You see your family whole year, holidays are for your bartender !!" - Moe Syzlak

   I think the smartest, most original thing a person can talk about is how early the Christmas decorations are up this year.