love Funny Status Messages

   Having lived and loved, I can tell you that life is the constant and love is the variable.

   Love songs are liars.

   I've been burnt by love before. Not in heart broken sort of way but in a the candle wax was a bit to hot way.

   In general, girls don't like to be described as “beefy”. Even if you love beef.

   I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

   Life is too short to care about being skinny. I LOVE FOOD. Plus, there's plenty of time to be skinny when I'm dead.:-)

   Mom always said "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours.." THANK YOU FRIDAY!!, I Love You, too!!!! I've always loved you. You and I are belong together! This is wonderful! We shall celebrate your return!!

   I think it is funny as hell. Then again I love my own brand of comedy!!

   Men are like a deck of cards. You need a heart to love them, a diamond to marry them, a club to bash his head in with... and a spade to bury him with.

   I'm a good boyfriend..I always talk to her, play with her, touch her buttons...I definitely turn her on... I love you Xbox.

   ROMANTIC IDEA: Buy a packet of glow in the dark stars and stick the stars on the roof above your bed to spell out a message such as "I Love You" When the lights go down, your message will be revealed!

   "I love my cable company! Their customer service and pricing can't be beat! I'm glad I have no other options!" said no one ever.

   I love you! And that's ok that you don't, because sometimes the beauty is in the attempt

   love the smell of cap gun smoke in the morning.

   You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them until they become afraid and give in.

   it's time to break out the kiddie pool and fill it with cranberry sauce.... Time for Bubba and Sis to fight over that turkey leg Springer-style. Gotta love Family Thanksgiving Traditions....

   If it's between love and losing And to never have known the feeling, I'd still side with love And if I end up lonely at least I will be there knowing I believe in love

   I love Beer. I would marry Beer if I could. ''Do you, Beer, take me to be your awfully wetted wife....until a DUI do us part? I LOVE YOU, BEER!"

   It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up...

   If vegetarians love animals so much, why do they eat all their food?