friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   There are some days when I just really do not want to wake up early and go to work. I call these days Monday - Friday.

   If Friday ever came up missing... than more than likely Monday had something to do with it!

   This weekend I got so drunk, my shadow is now in a baby stroller drooling

   Tiger Woods's win last weekend is a great reminder that sex addiction only affects your golf game for 923 days.

   The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

   If you are the winner of Friday's $500 million Mega Millions jackpot can receive the winnings in one lump sum, yearly installments, or one tank of gas.

   What's the appropriate cutoff age for playing in an inflatable bouncy house? Please let me know ASAP as this will impact my weekend plans.

   Roses are red violets are blue...it's Friday night and I'm sick of stating the obvious to you

   Welp, my facebook wall is full of religion today (Good Friday). This makes me exempt from attending Mass later, right?!?! Pretty sure I've been preached to enough for a day.

   Happy Sorta Sucks to be the Savior Day...Because it is a farcry of a Good Friday fro him.

   We get MLK Day off but not Good Friday...Dying for a dream trumps dying for our sins!

   May you have a better Good Friday than Jesus had...

   Ah Friday...my second favorite "F" word!

   Goals for this weekend: 1) get drunk 2) find Easter bunny & take Instagram pic of him 3) get drunk again 4) eat chocolate 5) refer to 1&3

   everybody knows the real good friday is in two weeks 4/20

   I was skeptical at first so I waited to see if the hype was true. And I'll have to say this was a good Friday....... 

   I hope you had a better Good Friday than Jesus did.

   When is it a good time to mention the Easter holiday tradition of eggs and bunny rabbits are pagan fertility symbols and the words Easter, Easter Bunny, or Easter Egg appear nowhere in the Bible? Not this weekend then?.....

   Happy Friday the 13th!! Hockey mask... Check... Machete... Check...

   Watching Friday 13th - a load of awful make-up, on brain-dead 'zombies'. Hang on. Sorry, wrong channel that was "The View".