santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Twas the night before Christmas, and I have not a joke, just a bunch of these presents and now I am broke. I shall awake in the mornin and hear all the chatter, watch my children open gifts realizing the clothes dont matter. To all of you out there I wish

   I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. But, if the white runs out, I'll drink the red

   Has finally found my Christmas spirit. Now if I could just remember where I put those candy cane shot glasses, I could start drinking it...

   please don't get your last minute presents from a gas station. If you do rembe Grandma gets the candy or the beef jerky not the condoms. Don't ask me how I know this.

   Please don't get your last minute presents from a gas station. If you do remember Grandma gets the candy or the beef jerky not the condoms. Don't ask me how I know this.

   When I was a child, I always used to search my parent's drawers and cupboards in the run up to Christmas so I'd know exactly what to expect. Although I never did receive that Vibratron Pleasuremax 3000.

   some weird fat man with a white beard wearing red clothes just shoved me into a big red sock... OK people, which one of you asked to get me for Christmas??

   I think it would really be nice if we all went over to MySpace to wish Tom a merry Christmas... poor guy... :-(

   broke as a mofo..why can't Santa Claus be real????

   thinks Bill Gates and Steve Jobs should be Santa Claus and forced to give us all presents

   just called 911. To report a fat white guy in a red suit just broke in to my home and snatched up a plate of cookies. Hey fatty you left your presents. We got your finger prints and we be looking for you. You so dumb.

   There has been only one Christmas -- the rest are anniversaries

   Dear Facebook Family...Thanks for being the Joy to my World...Merry Christmas!

   It only took 6 drinks but I'm starting to feel the Christmas spirit.

   : OK, I didn't get what I want for Xmas.... I'm coming after you FAT MAN IN A RED SUIT!!! And don't think I'm not gonna egg your sleigh either!

   May you have the gladness of Christmas which is hope; The spirit of Christmas which is peace; The heart of Christmas which is love.

   hopes Santa got Charlie Brown a football tee this year.

   Santa does not get milk and cookies at my house. Beer and pretzels it is. I figure after several million gulps of milk and enough cookies to cause a diabetic coma, a beer would be refreshing.

   Dear kids, There is no Santa. Those presents are from your parents. Sincerely: WIKILEAKS

   its your birthday too today? well this is for christmas AND your bday !