nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

   The Tide commercials during the Superbowl were not a hit with older folks but the kids are them up

   Men at 20 play football, at 40 tennis, at 60 golf. Notice as they get older their balls get smaller.

   Sometimes I watch football holding an X-Box controller just to confuse people.

   If football games begin with a kick-off, why don't hockey games begin with a puck-off?

   Yay! Now I can go back to saying the word "Soccer" without some pretentious fan reminding me that it's referred to as "Football" in other parts of the world.

   When Jimmy Garoppolo said he watches a lot of film, I thought it was talking about football

   Dearest Neighbors, Please do NOT call the police, it’s not domestic violence or a wild party. It’s football season, that’s just me screaming at my TV.

   I'm holding cheerleader try outs for my "Fantasy football team". Full outfits are encourage but not necessary.

   It should be a Thanksgiving tradition that one of the football games be the Patriots vs the Redskins.

   Ask a meteorologist who will win the Superbowl......then go with the other team ;-)

   I'll be taking a knee at my Superbowl party in protest of white supremacy and police brutality.

   Beto is like the guy that gets cut from the High School football team and says now he's going to join the NFL

   Rather than crush the spider I started telling it about my fantasy football team and it peacefully left on its own.

   I'm glad it's college football season again, now we have an excuse to drink at 9:00 AM on a Saturday.

   We bought an 82 inch TV. Football: awesome Porn: terrifying

   Some good tax news for you Michigan trolls. The IRS announced today that you can write off your Michigan Wolverine football season tickets as a total loss.

   Why do football players wait until the last 5 minutes of the 4th quarter to play with any real intensity?

   The Superbowl halftime show will go down in history as "The Vag Chronicles."

   My TV got hacked at Superbowl halftime. I saw a Puerto Rican Strip Club on Spanish language channel, old crotch grabbin' hussies.

   If you are throwing a football, a baseball or kicking a soccer ball in a park, you need to be more than six feet apart. If you aren't, you're in big trouble because you really suck at your sport.