love Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Christmas as a child: "Socks and Money? This is ridiculous!" Christmas as an adult: "SOCKS AND MONEY? HOW DID YOU KNOW? THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED. I LOVE YOU"
←Rate | 12-06-2019 09:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: Ooh, I love those pretty Christmas lights hanging over the street. Cop: Those are traffic lights, what's exactly in the thermos ma'am?
←Rate | 12-06-2019 09:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gotta love those girls in department stores wearing lab coats--taking time away from their experiments to help women out with their makeup.
←Rate | 12-11-2019 13:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I just called to say I love you." -Stevie Wonder not understanding how prank calls work
←Rate | 12-18-2019 06:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love my robotic vacuum cleaner that saves so much time and effort!...as long as I don't have to spend like an hour looking for it under furniture or in corners or wherever it got stuck and died.
←Rate | 12-21-2019 19:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you love Christmas so much, why don't you marry it, Eve? What I'm trying to say is: Merry Christmas Eve.
←Rate | 12-24-2019 10:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not that I can't stand people who attend the University of Florida, it's that I can't stand the red-necks who love the Gators.
←Rate | 12-31-2019 11:19 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Making love is like baking a cake...most men don't know how to work the stove
←Rate | 01-02-2020 04:03 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm just saying if she's into metric then I'd love to meter
←Rate | 01-14-2020 06:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "A trail of clothes leading up to a bedroom before marriage ment a night of pashionate love making. Now it means you dropped them on your way from the dryer.
←Rate | 01-24-2020 22:59 by Starman Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're alone and sad for Valentine's Day, to make you feel better just remember that for the love of a woman Saint Valentine was imprisoned then beat to death with clubs :-)
←Rate | 01-25-2020 12:26 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Going forward I'm only saying I love you to cheeseburgers.
←Rate | 01-28-2020 06:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time a telemarketer calls, hit 'em with an "I love you" right off the bat. Just keep saying it, no matter what they say..
←Rate | 01-30-2020 07:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon With Valentine's Day just around the corner if you're secretly in love with me and would like a candlelit dinner with flowers and candy, it's to late shell out all that money, but talk to me talk on the 15th and maybe next year.
←Rate | 02-02-2020 22:59 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't be sad if you're alone on Saint Valentine's Day as it could be worse like how it turned out for poor Saint Valentine who for the love of a woman was imprisoned then beat to death with clubs.
←Rate | 02-13-2020 11:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Valintimes, as I love you more then I can express on a website sent by means of a plastic artificial intelligence device <3
←Rate | 02-14-2020 11:30 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's snowing! And I think I'll go outside now for 30 seconds to take a selfie so all my Facebook friends can see how much I love the snow.
←Rate | 02-20-2020 08:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People say "love' is the best feeling ever. However I think finding a toilet right away when you have diarrhea is better.
←Rate | 02-29-2020 08:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Her: I love the picture of you in your bedroom. Me: It's IKEA. Her: You did a great job picking it all out! Me: No, I took that picture in IKEA.
←Rate | 03-01-2020 22:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon what happens if the bachelor chooses to love himself
←Rate | 03-04-2020 11:08 Comments (0)  




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