love Funny Status Messages

   Christmas as a child: "Socks and Money? This is ridiculous!" Christmas as an adult: "SOCKS AND MONEY? HOW DID YOU KNOW? THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED. I LOVE YOU"

   Me: Ooh, I love those pretty Christmas lights hanging over the street. Cop: Those are traffic lights, what's exactly in the thermos ma'am?

   Gotta love those girls in department stores wearing lab coats--taking time away from their experiments to help women out with their makeup.

   "I just called to say I love you." -Stevie Wonder not understanding how prank calls work

   I love my robotic vacuum cleaner that saves so much time and effort!...as long as I don't have to spend like an hour looking for it under furniture or in corners or wherever it got stuck and died.

   If you love Christmas so much, why don't you marry it, Eve? What I'm trying to say is: Merry Christmas Eve.

   It's not that I can't stand people who attend the University of Florida, it's that I can't stand the red-necks who love the Gators.

   Making love is like baking a cake...most men don't know how to work the stove

   I'm just saying if she's into metric then I'd love to meter

   "A trail of clothes leading up to a bedroom before marriage ment a night of pashionate love making. Now it means you dropped them on your way from the dryer.

   If you're alone and sad for Valentine's Day, to make you feel better just remember that for the love of a woman Saint Valentine was imprisoned then beat to death with clubs :-)

   Going forward I'm only saying I love you to cheeseburgers.

   Next time a telemarketer calls, hit 'em with an "I love you" right off the bat. Just keep saying it, no matter what they say..

   With Valentine's Day just around the corner if you're secretly in love with me and would like a candlelit dinner with flowers and candy, it's to late shell out all that money, but talk to me talk on the 15th and maybe next year.

   Don't be sad if you're alone on Saint Valentine's Day as it could be worse like how it turned out for poor Saint Valentine who for the love of a woman was imprisoned then beat to death with clubs.

   Happy Valintimes, as I love you more then I can express on a website sent by means of a plastic artificial intelligence device <3

   It's snowing! And I think I'll go outside now for 30 seconds to take a selfie so all my Facebook friends can see how much I love the snow.

   People say "love' is the best feeling ever. However I think finding a toilet right away when you have diarrhea is better.

   Her: I love the picture of you in your bedroom. Me: It's IKEA. Her: You did a great job picking it all out! Me: No, I took that picture in IKEA.

   what happens if the bachelor chooses to love himself