love Funny Status Messages
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Christmas as a child: "Socks and Money? This is ridiculous!" Christmas as an adult: "SOCKS AND MONEY? HOW DID YOU KNOW? THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED. I LOVE YOU"
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12-06-2019 09:05
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Me: Ooh, I love those pretty Christmas lights hanging over the street. Cop: Those are traffic lights, what's exactly in the thermos ma'am?
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12-06-2019 09:17
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Gotta love those girls in department stores wearing lab coats--taking time away from their experiments to help women out with their makeup.
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12-11-2019 13:29
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"I just called to say I love you." -Stevie Wonder not understanding how prank calls work
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12-18-2019 06:48
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I love my robotic vacuum cleaner that saves so much time and effort!...as long as I don't have to spend like an hour looking for it under furniture or in corners or wherever it got stuck and died.
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12-21-2019 19:49
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If you love Christmas so much, why don't you marry it, Eve? What I'm trying to say is: Merry Christmas Eve.
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12-24-2019 10:51
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It's not that I can't stand people who attend the University of Florida, it's that I can't stand the red-necks who love the Gators.
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12-31-2019 11:19 by Fazzy
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Making love is like baking a cake...most men don't know how to work the stove
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01-02-2020 04:03 by Eddy
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I'm just saying if she's into metric then I'd love to meter
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01-14-2020 06:39
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"A trail of clothes leading up to a bedroom before marriage ment a night of pashionate love making. Now it means you dropped them on your way from the dryer.
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01-24-2020 22:59 by Starman
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If you're alone and sad for Valentine's Day, to make you feel better just remember that for the love of a woman Saint Valentine was imprisoned then beat to death with clubs :-)
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01-25-2020 12:26 by Moon
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Going forward I'm only saying I love you to cheeseburgers.
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01-28-2020 06:11
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Next time a telemarketer calls, hit 'em with an "I love you" right off the bat. Just keep saying it, no matter what they say..
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01-30-2020 07:08
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With Valentine's Day just around the corner if you're secretly in love with me and would like a candlelit dinner with flowers and candy, it's to late shell out all that money, but talk to me talk on the 15th and maybe next year.
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02-02-2020 22:59 by Moon
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Don't be sad if you're alone on Saint Valentine's Day as it could be worse like how it turned out for poor Saint Valentine who for the love of a woman was imprisoned then beat to death with clubs.
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02-13-2020 11:32
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Happy Valintimes, as I love you more then I can express on a website sent by means of a plastic artificial intelligence device <3
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02-14-2020 11:30 by Moon
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It's snowing! And I think I'll go outside now for 30 seconds to take a selfie so all my Facebook friends can see how much I love the snow.
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02-20-2020 08:01
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People say "love' is the best feeling ever. However I think finding a toilet right away when you have diarrhea is better.
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02-29-2020 08:06
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Her: I love the picture of you in your bedroom. Me: It's IKEA. Her: You did a great job picking it all out! Me: No, I took that picture in IKEA.
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03-01-2020 22:53
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what happens if the bachelor chooses to love himself
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03-04-2020 11:08
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