love Funny Status Messages

   Her: How deep is your love? Me: 8 inches. 3 if you actually have a ruler with you.

   Imagine having an IQ low enough to enjoy watching love island.

   I love the fact that "Take Out" means food, dating, and murder.

   I love Fall.... Unless it's Cold, Damp and Dark. Then I hate Fall.

   What if you are an atheist, and you're stuck behind a guy with a "Honk if You Love Jesus" bumper sticker at a traffic light?

   It's not so much that I love karate as that I hate wooden - planks!

   I would love to incite a fight after a UB40 concert.

   What if... what if dogs love us so much because they know we're made of bones.

   I love Halloween. You get free candy without having to get into anyone's van.

   Girls love surprises until they get a finger in da butt...

   I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. "My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl."

   How do you tell someone you love them without them making it weird that you're under their bed

   So I now have 921 friends on my friends list and I just wanted to let you know that you are all awesome people and I love each and everyone of you!!! <3 Except #631

   True love means never having to pick just one hole.

   I had it all, money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman, then pow, it was all gone, when my wife found out.

   Just once in my life I'd love to make just the perfect amount of spaghetti for myself. Anyways, if you're hungry come on over. And bring like five friends.

   Met a lady yesterday...It was love at first sight...Then I took a second look !!

   I'd love to hang out with you, but this nap isn't going to take itself.

   Cupid is the perfect symbol for Valentine's Day. Because nothing fills me with love more than a fat baby firing arrows at my butt.

   It's hard to be a straight guy these days. I'm all for equal pay and treatment for women but I also love titties...