santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   I bet you were one of those kids that ate the paste while gluing on cotton balls to make Santa's beard.

   Just went out to my neighbors front yard and wrote "Merry Christmas" in his yard by pissing in the snow

   The Christmas package of Wild Turkey now comes with bail money and pants.

   When I was a child, I remember lying with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come. ....Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left

   *<]:{ > Dear Santa, This year all I want for Christmas is thick hair and a thin body and please don't get it backwards like you did last year [:p

   If a real fat man grabs you & throws you in a bag don't panic it's just santa collecting his ho's. I'm updating this in the bag. Bring alcohol!

   Dear Santa: This year instead of a gift wish list, I'm sending a list of people I would like to see disappear. Thank you.

   Santa Claus uses slave labor. The elves are beaten every time a toy breaks. They have tried to organize, but Santa always sends in a goon squad to disrupt them. If you are against elf abuse and support their right to organize, please change your profile p

   We are seeing some hard times. Even Santa's feeling the pinch, I hear he's down to just one Ho!

   If you can read this, chances are you won't be recieving a gift from me this Christmas. Happy Holidays!

   dreaming of a 'backcolor=#FFFFFF' Christmas.

   hasn't bought a single Christmas gift yet.

   Lovin my early Christmas present of a Massage Chair! Work never felt so good!.. Now if someone would just invent a vibrating tampon I could start lovin my periods too

   This Christmas I'm gonna party like it's $19.99.....

   I'll be 127.0.0.1 for Christmas

   Am I being picky when I say "Please leave 'Christ' in Christmas"? I know it's a little thing, but, by writing 'X-mas' it seems to me that we are taking out the whole reason we even celebrate this holiday just to save a few key strokes . Just my opinion of

   For those who are upset when they see the word Xmas, just know that the Old English word (12th Century) for Christmas begins with X. The Greek word for Christ (which the English word derives) begins with the Greek letter "chi", or X. So its use is proper

   Xmas is derived from a mixture of Greek and English. Greeks used X as the symbol for Chi, Christo or Xristo. X is the Greek symbol for Christ. In early Christian times, X was used as the symbol for Christ himself.

   Just signed all my Facebook friends up for free samples of Astroglide. Happy Holidays!

   I'm so broke after Christmas shopping this New Year's I'm gonna party like it's $19.99.