life Funny Status Messages

   So far my only real accomplishment in life has been not having kids.

   My love life is so boring that Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore are going to make a movie about it.

   Ugly old women who fight over their male colleagues with all other young women! well done! Your life sucks!

   Ugly old married women who fight over their male colleagues with all other young women! well done! Your life sucks!

   Married women who fight over their male colleagues with all other young women! well done! Your life sucks!

   Getting ignored by even the old ugly women at work- your life sucks.

   I can tell by the way you keep snapping your gum in my ear that you really don't value your life at all.

   I once dated an amputee,,,, She single-handedly changed my life.

   $15 minimum wage, I don't think so. Maybe we should focus on lowering the cost of an education instead. That way it rewards those that are willing to work for a better life.

   Life must suck for the reporters that have to report on the Justin Bieber n-word story...

   Don't be upset that you're single; be happy that someone isn't ruining your life.

   Wanna know about people you don't need in you life? Post something with a misspelling and see how fast they "must" correct you

   I've worked really hard in my life to not have to hang out with vegans

   ‪#‎bringbackourboys‬ Lets make peace not war. Lets love and not hate. We are all the same. We all have the same inspirations in life. Let's do good for each other and stop the hatred.

   I've given my couch the best years of my life

   If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tounges and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in messages, it would be creepy as hell.

   Life insurance? Why? So my wife's new boyfriend can get a trampoline?

   A Virginia woman on Tuesday graduated high school at the age of 111. She’s the first person to graduate high school and have her whole life behind her.

   Some people spend their whole life searching....I spend it trying to keep a straight face.

   Your life sounds very interesting. Tell me more about your dog.