love Funny Status Messages

   Whenever I hear an Italian say that they love Olive Garden, to me that translates to, "My mama was a lousy cook."

   But if you can't see your Christmas decorations from space, do you really love Jesus?

   Math tells us of the 3 saddest love stories: Of PARALLEL lines, who were never meant to meet. Of TANGENT lines, who were together once then parted forever. And of ASYMPTOTIC lines, who could only get closer and closer, but could never be together.

   “I love Christmas lights. They remind me of the people who voted for Hillary. They all hang together; half of them don't work, and the ones that do, aren't that bright.

   Yes ... I suppose I am one of the few people that actually love Fruit Cakes!!! ....Heck .... I only need a few more ..... this year I hope to get enough to complete building my Brick wall!!

   Keep your marriage fresh by writing each other love notes like "I considered smothering you with a pillow last night but didn't."

   When I'm bored I like going to down to the train station, making eye contact with someone as the train pulls away and then chase after it while yelling "I LOVE YOU!"

   Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take Kanye too!

   Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take Hillary too..

   Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take JCGJ too..

   Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take Donald Trump too..

   I love you my friends ... and that's not just the beer talking ... its from the bottom of my bottle of wine too.

   Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take Rosie O'Donnell too..

   I love the gym this time of year. The newbies make me look like a Victoria Secret model.

   I wish I loved anything as much as yankees love fireworks. #nojobbutcanaffordfireworks

   I love pizza because it doesn't judge and tell me I'm doing it wrong when I eat it drunk.

   I love cloning as much as the next guy. Who is also me.

   If you love someone, set them free. If they come back with the police then setting them free was probably a bad idea.

   "Let's have a march to show our hate and give speeches about love!" Women

   I love how when your watching a crime show and they have to tell you that "this is a reenactment" oh really? you mean you didn't actually catch the murder on video?lol