life Funny Status Messages

   Research says laughter can lengthen your life and smoking shortens it. So, I always chuckle between puffs.

   They say every cigarette you smoke takes 7 minutes off your life. I have now officially removed the adult-diaper years...

   obviously sitting here staring at my computer screen waiting for a notification to suddenly pop up so I can have a moment of excitement.....i need a life!!!

   "Don't Regret Anything U've Done Bcuz' At One Point In Ur Life It Was Exactly what you Wanted 2 Do."

   If you keep God inside your heart, there's nothing that will come into your life that you won't be able to handle. God is enough!

   Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

   Had a dream I was stranded on a deserted island with Dracula and Rosie O donnell. Pretty spooky! One is a evil being that is pale,and will drain the life out of you.....And the other one's a vampire.

   I was sitting at the dinner table last night and I meant to say pass the mashed potatoes but I let it slip you stupid B@#ch you've ruined my life

   There are easier things in life than finding a good man... like nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance.

   Law of Study Leave: As per some equation, The rate of days nearing exams is directly proportional to The no. of things in life that get more interesting day-by-day!

   "In Super Mario, as in life, its Game Over when you get the girl!!!"

   that you shouldn't base your life on what other people think!

   wants to be one of those people who, when he reaches the end of his life, gets their head cryogenically frozen, wakes up in a new, strong, young body 10,000 years in the future and proceeds to lead the human race to victory over the alien insect overlords

   wonders at what point in a proctologists life do they decide, 'When I grow up, I want to be sure everyones a$$ho!e is puckered up and functional!"

   had a dream I was stranded on a deserted island with Dracula and Nancy Pelosi. Pretty spooky! One is a evil being that is pale and will drain the life out of you.....And the other one's a vampire

   thinks life is like a rubix cube. Some people have the patience to solve it and the others just cheat to see how others do it

   had many people walk into her life and made it great. She has had many people walk out of her life and made it f*cking fantastic!!!

   Someone came up to me and said get a life...I punched them in the face and said get a helmet.

   you can get whatever you want in this life,if you have self confidence,determination...and huge t!ts.

   just realized life hasn't changed much. 15years ago on Sunday night I was wishing I was grown up and had a job. Today night I'm up wishing I was in school.......