Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   anyone on Myspace anymore? I wonder if Tom is on facebook....

   Be nice to nerds, Chances are you will be working for them.

   "Diamonds are forever. But so is herpes." This is why I never get hired to write advertising campaigns.

   Making $ is easy. Press shift+4.

   I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate...

   To hell with syncing the Titanic... I named my iPhone "ass" so I could back that ass up.

   Things in my life are finally starting to click...... Like my elbows, my knees, my feet,etc;

   Its the middle of January and you live in New England....Stop complaining and acting surprised "Its still snowing"!!!

   I hate people that are conceited. I am so much better than them.

   Note to Self: Stop posting personal things on Facebook and make appointment at the free clinic.

   doing The Safety Dance while holding scissors. I'm such a rebel.

   Cupid teaches kids to shoot someone in the butt with an arrow to make them like you.

   Do the people on Take Me Out actually maintain a relationship?

   I hate when people bring up a mistake you made a long time ago; negroe I was a different person two hours ago. -_-

   never take an angry women with you to target practice.

   Happy "James Earl Ray" day

   just herd Jeopardy will pitting human contestants against a computer named "Watson"; TERMINATOR BEGINS! O_O

   thinking Gucci Man is retarded; what kind of man get a tattoo of an ice cream cone on my face? Everyone knows Ice Cream is the least threating foods of the food groups... What an idiot.

   thinks someone needs to falcon punch Gucci Mane in his ice cream loving face...

   thinking why the hell are people confusing Green Hornet and Green Lantern... The only similarity is the word "Green"...No wonder movies like "Vampire Sucks" and "Disaster Movie", is able to achieve number 1 status. -_-