yo Funny Status Messages

   "Diamonds are forever. But so is herpes." This is why I never get hired to write advertising campaigns.

   I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate...

   To hell with syncing the Titanic... I named my iPhone "ass" so I could back that ass up.

   The guy who said "It's better to have loved and lost" never accidentally washed his jeans wit his weed still in his pocket

   is a straight ally and today is National Coming Out Day. I'm coming out for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equality because it's 2010 and almost 90% of LGBT youth experience harassment in school, and too many lives have been lost.

   Making $ is easy. Press shift+4.