love Funny Status Messages

   I Love You like HELL!!! Its just that I don't want to DIE ;)

   I love you more today than yesterday. Yesterday, you really got on my nerves.

   Awww! Isn't that sweet. Everyone's so in love from Facebook how long thats going to last.. like in relationship but its complicated WTF

   Do you believe in love at first sight? Or do I have to walk past you again?

   Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired

   Don't hold onto anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love !

   With all due of respect, I would love to be able to walk up to you and offer you a big, nice cup of shut the f*** up.

   Rest in Peace Jimmy Dean. . . Your sausage will never be the same... ( I am not sure I like the sounds of this post after typing it ) Admit it.. You ALL LOVE HIS SAUSAGE!

   I love all of the sexual harassment jokes that everyone says at sexual harassment training.

   “Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.”

   t is my sincere hope that your day is full of love and that you are a positive influence on the people who look up to you. It is also my sincere hope that Perez Hilton pours kerosone all over himself, down his throat and in his socks & immolates himself

   it me or is Tosh.0 the greatest freaking show since Flavor of Love???...

   Women are like a pack of cards, you need a heart to love them, a diamond to buy them, a club to kill them and a spade to bury them

   I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.

   Love is like a soccer ball, everybody runs to have that ball, and when they have it they kick it away..

   Love is best when it overflows freely from the heart, rather than you having to reach in to get your fill.

   Husband gets "I Love You" tattooed on his penis. He goes home to show his wife. His wife says "There you go again trying to put words in my mouth"

   I LOVE it when people are overly sarcastic. No, really, it's great! Thanks a bunch!

   A smile is a sign of joy. A hug is a sign of love. A laugh is a sign of happiness. And a friend like me…Sh*t, that's just a sign of good taste!!

   I love how I don't have to watch the weather channel, I just sign onto Facebook and check the latest status updates.