Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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1062

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I think it would really be nice if we all went over to MySpace to wish Tom a merry Christmas... poor guy... :-(

164

←Rate | 12-24-2010 16:41 Comments (1)

broke as a mofo..why can't Santa Claus be real????

←Rate | 12-24-2010 18:48 by SLAYER Comments (0)

thinks Bill Gates and Steve Jobs should be Santa Claus and forced to give us all presents

←Rate | 12-24-2010 18:53 by SLAYER Comments (0)

My friends cars gas tank is on E. And we're still driving. Call me crazy.......but I think we just beat the system!

←Rate | 12-24-2010 18:53 Comments (0)

Dear Kardashians, your 15 minutes was up a few months ago...

←Rate | 12-24-2010 20:48 by Gil Comments (0)

Due to 9 empty traps, today's planned Iron Chef Reindeer Challenge will be postponed.

←Rate | 12-24-2010 20:58 by Scarlet Comments (0)

Got a flannel sweater for the 9th year in a row. Thanks mom! Can't wait to see what I get next year.

←Rate | 12-24-2010 21:57 by Will Comments (0)

just called 911. To report a fat white guy in a red suit just broke in to my home and snatched up a plate of cookies. Hey fatty you left your presents. We got your finger prints and we be looking for you. You so dumb.

←Rate | 12-25-2010 00:38 Comments (0)

no matter how many years go by I still always end up getting banished to the kid table.

←Rate | 12-25-2010 00:40 by joe fool Comments (0)

There has been only one Christmas -- the rest are anniversaries

←Rate | 12-25-2010 00:58 by @seddy90 Comments (0)

Dear Facebook Family...Thanks for being the Joy to my World...Merry Christmas!

←Rate | 12-25-2010 02:06 by jason_Vasquez Comments (0)

At the rate at which I'm going I doubt if I'll remember the last week of 2010....

←Rate | 12-25-2010 02:23 by sharat Comments (0)

It only took 6 drinks but I'm starting to feel the Christmas spirit.

←Rate | 12-25-2010 03:07 by ff1241 Comments (0)

I somehow managed to get chocolate inside my shoe. And somehow mustered the bravery to figure out it was chocolate.

←Rate | 12-25-2010 03:40 Comments (0)

Snowmen for sale....some assembly required!

←Rate | 12-25-2010 03:52 by RP Comments (0)

: OK, I didn't get what I want for Xmas.... I'm coming after you FAT MAN IN A RED SUIT!!! And don't think I'm not gonna egg your sleigh either!

←Rate | 12-25-2010 03:56 by Elbow Comments (0)

You know you're at the top of the naughty list when you get nothing under the tree, coal in your stocking and reindeer crap on your roof!

←Rate | 12-25-2010 10:48 Comments (0)

May you have the gladness of Christmas which is hope; The spirit of Christmas which is peace; The heart of Christmas which is love.

←Rate | 12-25-2010 10:56 by Tk Comments (0)

hopes Santa got Charlie Brown a football tee this year.

←Rate | 12-25-2010 10:57 Comments (0)

I just love gambling here in Vegas. Sure, I may lose $100,000 but the drinks are free so it evens out

←Rate | 12-25-2010 11:27 by ACharles Comments (0)