Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   diagonally parked in a parallel universe

   totally voting for Pedro

   Feeding your dog Chocolate

   "happy and you know it, so clap your hands!"

   lovin' it

   not smarter than a 5th grader :(

   "Not only do I not know what's going on, but I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did."

   living vicariously through herself.

   pretending to water the fake plants

   mad because the government stole my Weapon of Mass Destruction

   thought he had a good tan... until he took a shower!

   in your boyfriends extended network.

   LOVING CAPS LOCK

   figured out that plastic surgery allows women to make their outer appearance resemble their inner appearance -- fake.

   textually active

   bartending at the Betty Ford Clinic

   silently judging you.

   "if your a Vin Diesel fan, in all fairness you should not be reading his status. You should be home coloring."

   out of her mind and have gone to look for it.

   pondering on incoherent thoughts that pertain to this abstract dilemma