Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Just found out, Microsoft bought skype for $$8.5Mil??? Idiots !!!! I knw Bill Gates has the money, but that fool could have downloaded it for freee !!

   The Golden State Warriors are losing the NBA championship on purpose because they don't want to visit the White House.

   You know why Asian couples can't have there own Caucasian baby?? Because 2 wongs don't make a white.

   Hey Oprah your shows over,,,go to the dam gym ,, and try and lose some weight already,,,!!!

   In what world does a box of Kraft macaroni and cheese serve 4 people?

   I have never in my life seen a Tattoo and said "wow, that looks classy" All a tattoo is, is a "LOOK AT ME" statement

   When black men pick cotton... All I can think of is the good ol' days! Praise Jesus.

   Sephora is my favorite place to fart.

   I wish they'd open bowling alleys back up. We trailer trash need something to do too, you know.

   No matter who wins, they will likely be impeached and their vice president will take over

   every guy has got that one pair of socks with a hole and that big toe sticking out.

   I'll be at tomorrows inauguration. Don't folks, I'll bring back some real funny demi-crats status stuff.

   Mexican president Nieto threatens Trump.. Build the wall and we will launch bottle rockets at you!

   I've I heard people want to boycott Beauty and the Beast because there's a gay character in it. It's okay for a teenage girl to fall in love with a rabid, hairy dog, but you can't have a gay person in a movie?

   Jerry Sandusky was trending this month and I thought Trump made him the head of the Family and Youth Services Bureau.

   Melania and Kellyanne look like someone took two attractive models, and then smooshed their faces around until they didn't quite look right.

   23 million?.. To put that in perspective, if you laid them all end to end,,, you can just bury them easier.

   Nearly 7K people die every day in the US alone. If you aren't one of them, thank your God, STFU and keep grinding!

   If there are three ducks on a pond and you shoot one how many would be left on the pond? None. The other two would fly away after hearing the gun shot.

   What? WikiLeaks is endangering lives and is unamerican? Wow, you don't say? Gee, what a surprise.....