Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
544
545
546
547
548
549
550
551
Next»
Most Recent
Page: 548 of 6385
I've just been promoted at my job as a bike mechanic. I'm now the spokesperson.
11
2
←Rate |
02-20-2020 14:24
Comments (
0
)
We're looking for someone to eat macaroni and cheese at the end of our bed while we have sex. No weirdos please.
11
2
←Rate |
03-01-2020 07:30
Comments (
0
)
Florida became a state on this day in 1845. The amazing thing is that most of Florida’s population was alive to witness it.
11
2
←Rate |
03-03-2020 06:33
Comments (
0
)
Let me show you how you can claim your dog as a dependent on your tax return. ~Me flirting
11
2
←Rate |
03-03-2020 09:48
Comments (
0
)
If the world was flat like some people say my girlfriend's cat would have pushed me off the edge years ago.
11
2
←Rate |
03-05-2020 16:00 by
Moon
Comments (
0
)
Don't see why everyone is hording toilet paper for.... it does have 2 sides
11
2
←Rate |
03-19-2020 10:53 by
Migasjoe
Comments (
0
)
it me or do the birds and critters seem so much louder now - like their taunting us?
11
2
←Rate |
04-08-2020 06:43
Comments (
0
)
Your quarantine name is your Amazon username and password.
11
2
←Rate |
04-18-2020 07:04
Comments (
0
)
You'd think that with as much time as women spend looking at their ass in the mirror they'd be able to reverse into a parking spot.
11
2
←Rate |
04-21-2020 06:30
Comments (
0
)
Whoever stole my glasses you WILL be sorry, I have contacts!
11
2
←Rate |
04-25-2020 09:37 by
Smeebert
Comments (
0
)
Social distancing requires a good supply of air horns.
11
2
←Rate |
04-29-2020 08:16
Comments (
0
)
The lady in front of me at Wal-mart has six kids and is buying a baby gate. I want to tell her a chastity belt might be a better use of the money.
11
2
←Rate |
05-07-2020 08:47
Comments (
0
)
If science is so great why do we only have one vegetable on the cob
11
2
←Rate |
06-01-2020 12:24
Comments (
0
)
Max Factor mascara makes eyelashes appear three times longer? When are they going to start making condoms? asking for a friend.
11
2
←Rate |
06-06-2020 13:22
Comments (
0
)
I insist on having my husband talk dirty to me in a Donald Duck voice.
11
2
←Rate |
06-15-2020 10:21
Comments (
0
)
The worst part about my dad having a ponytail is, whenever we go out to eat, the server automatically hands the bill to me.
11
2
←Rate |
06-23-2020 13:38
Comments (
0
)
If you shout along to the last word of each sentence in the eulogy, you can turn any funeral into a Beastie Boys song.
11
2
←Rate |
06-26-2020 09:07
Comments (
0
)
Imagine if spiders screamed at us when we found them.
11
2
←Rate |
07-06-2020 12:35
Comments (
0
)
Sometimes I walk around my apartment naked with the windows open. Just in case my neighbors need a good cry.
11
2
←Rate |
07-10-2020 08:43
Comments (
0
)
Video Games in the 80s: Run! Jump! Eat this flower! Collect the coins! Video Games Now: You are a broken man, haunted by the choices you’ve made. You do not fear the sweet embrace of death, but you still have unfinished business.
11
2
←Rate |
07-10-2020 08:44
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
544
545
546
547
548
549
550
551
Next»
Most Recent
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com