Gump Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon My wife told me: "Sex is better on vacation." That wasn't a very nice postcard to receive.
←Rate | 05-07-2017 17:57 by Gump Comments (0)  

   messageicon Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
←Rate | 05-07-2017 08:42 by Gump Comments (0)  

   messageicon I recently added squats to my daily workout routine and I did so by moving my beer to the bottom shelf in my refrigerator.
←Rate | 05-08-2017 08:33 by Gump Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Covfefe" definition: (Noun) A fidget spinner for the National media.
←Rate | 06-01-2017 09:17 by Gump Comments (0)  

   messageicon Yesterday I jokingly asked my wife what she was burning for dinner. Turns out it was all my personal belongings.
←Rate | 05-07-2017 18:01 by Gump Comments (0)  

   messageicon A man knocked on my door yesterday asking for a small donation toward the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water and shut the door.
←Rate | 05-08-2017 08:44 by Gump Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whatever you do in this life, you should always give it 100 percent, unless you're donating blood.
←Rate | 05-08-2017 08:41 by Gump Comments (0)  

   messageicon My wife has been looking through the window every since it started raining this morning. I suppose I should let her back in.
←Rate | 05-08-2017 08:51 by Gump Comments (0)  


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