Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Here is a episode for mythbusters....once you go black ,do you never go back?

   Anybody got a recepie for cicadas?

   I want a BANG. "Bright Attractive Non-Nagging Girl."

   I wonder how many of my friends are one night stand babies!

   I dont see how you can hate one night stands when you owe your existence to a one night stand yourself.

   My plan to discombobulate people with big words has failed egregiously.

   Without ME it's just AWESO..

   I̶'̶m̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶s̶t̶u̶p̶i̶d̶!̶ I'm not with stupid anymore

   How would you even go about putting 99 bottles of beer on the wall in the first place?

   Jesus is just a guy who mows my lawn

   young enough to still get into trouble but old enough to still know better.

   Guy: if I could change the alphabet, I would put you and I together. :) Girl: oh there's no need to do that, N and O are already together...

   In dog beer I've only had one

   i am in no shape to exercise

   thankfully I choose my alcholic powers for good instead of evil

   Just found out my birthsign is Pyrex, (just been told I was a testtube baby)

   FACT: A cat will blink when struck in the head with a hammer

   Rebecca Black's fame only lasted 2 Friday's

   Instead of cashiers saying "here's your receipt" they should say "will you throw this away for me?"

   if your complaining about new statuses, maybe you should do your part and contribute a witty status yourself!