Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   If you can't get them off your mind...then maybe they're supposed to be there.

   you know its over when there's nothing left to say

   People who say "If I disappeared, no one would notice" are wrong. Anyone who actually saw you vanish would be pretty freaked out.

   try to say the letter `M` without your lips touching.

   there's always that one person who takes a few minutes to get the joke...

   "Silence is the best answer for all questions" "Smiling is the best reaction in all situations".

   Your opinion of me DOESNT define who I AM.

   I graduated with a 4.0 … Blood Alcohol level.

   People shouldn't be judged by who they date, what skin color they are, and etc..If they are happy together, then let them live their lives..

   Take the chance, live out your dreams, make life better than it seems.

   Love is like a rubber band. At first we keep on pulling and pulling. Then when someone let go, it hurts the person who holds on.

   There's 8 letters in I LOVE YOU but there's also 8 letters in BULLSH!T!

   What happens in an exam : Tik tok, Mind block, Pen stop, Eye pop, Full shock, Jaw drop, Time up, No Luck.

   Heart breaks are like a broken mirror, you can still put the pieces together, but the cracks will still remain. 

   Everything happens for a reason & sometimes it's better for us not to know that reason.

   I dont mind going to work, but this eight hour wait to go home is bullsh*t

   sorry babe, I'm not lighting candles to be romantic.......lighting candles cause I just took a dump

   I miss that age when I THOUGHT I knew everything. Cause now that I do, it's kinda depressing...

   so this lady is buying a birthday card and diet suppliments, cant help but wonder if these items are not related or if she's just a b!tch

   Looks like Hugh Hefner's fiance finally got her cataracts removed and called off the wedding realizing she'd have to wake up everyday next to a dude that looks worse than the dead guy on "A Weekend at Bernie's"