Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
276
277
278
279
280
281
282
283
6386
Next»
Page: 280 of 6386
I would like to think money won’t change me, but I got my stimulus check and immediately bought name brand aluminum foil.
23
4
←Rate |
03-22-2021 09:31
Comments (
0
)
I think with my tax refund this year I’ll buy a commercial freezer because the bodies keep falling out of the smaller ones and it scares the dog.
12
4
←Rate |
03-22-2021 09:30
Comments (
0
)
Today I photographed two bees having sex and I am not sure it is appropriate to post so you’ll have to imagine it.
8
5
←Rate |
03-22-2021 09:29
Comments (
0
)
Can’t figure out if the neighbour’s baby is fussy or they bought a goat.
15
2
←Rate |
03-22-2021 09:29
Comments (
0
)
Grew up in a neighborhood so tough, all the kids put onions in their ‘no tears’ shampoo.
11
4
←Rate |
03-22-2021 09:28
Comments (
0
)
My favorite state to visit? Unconsciousness
11
2
←Rate |
03-22-2021 09:27
Comments (
0
)
Maybe the aliens read our tweets and that’s why they probe us anally because they think that’s where our brains are?
11
3
←Rate |
03-22-2021 09:27
Comments (
0
)
Finally, my winter fat is gone… now I have spring rolls
15
4
←Rate |
03-22-2021 09:27
Comments (
0
)
One time, a dude messaged me to ask what I was wearing & I had just put in my mouthguard to go to bed… so I said “mouthguard” & he asked for pics. So I sent him a photo of my mouthguard & he blocked me.
5
5
←Rate |
03-22-2021 09:27
Comments (
0
)
Biden will never get my guns because I keep them upstairs.
46
82
←Rate |
03-21-2021 23:43 by
CrispyBacon
Comments (
0
)
I'm at that age and wisdom where I no longer get up to investigate strange noises. Nope! I've seen that movie.
13
2
←Rate |
03-21-2021 06:43 by
Bill
Comments (
0
)
Had a bad day today, but I didn't kill 8 people... I came home and did a line of coke like all other responsible adults
9
10
←Rate |
03-20-2021 20:22
Comments (
0
)
that March 20th inauguration happening? Anybody know? Anybody? I don't want to miss it again.
12
16
←Rate |
03-20-2021 13:08
Comments (
0
)
Your tax refund probably taking long cuz all your kids got different last names and the IRS is confused.
19
4
←Rate |
03-19-2021 21:29 by
@svaldez187
Comments (
0
)
I heard Biden went on a trip today.
29
23
←Rate |
03-19-2021 19:46 by
Grumpy
Comments (
0
)
What did Jill say to Joe, when he left the White House, this morning? "Have a safe trip."
21
25
←Rate |
03-19-2021 19:46 by
Grumpy
Comments (
0
)
Q-Tip. A d!ldo for the ear.
6
14
←Rate |
03-19-2021 17:15
Comments (
0
)
Sometimes I wish Whoop-ass came in a spray bottle instead of a can.
9
6
←Rate |
03-19-2021 09:05
Comments (
0
)
I’ve tested positive for needing a fucing vacation
4
5
←Rate |
03-19-2021 08:52
Comments (
0
)
Playboy has asked me to stop sending them my nudes
8
5
←Rate |
03-19-2021 08:48
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
276
277
278
279
280
281
282
283
6386
Next»
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com