Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   People are quick to blame the devil for everything that goes bad in their lives. Even people who fail an exam they did not adequately prepare for will blame it all on the devil.

   Research has shown that 20% of your Facebok friends hate your guts and would like to see you die a horrible death.

   Zimmerman and OJ Simpson should fight to death. Gun vs Knife.

   God's son died single, but he'll help you find your match on Christian Mingle.

   If it wasn't for sex, I would have quit being a grown-up a long time ago.

   George Zimmerman needs to meet Dexter

   Why do we say "A word to the wise" when it's the stupid ones who need it?

   When you get married, wouldn't it make more sense for the groom's mother to walk the bride down the aisle? That way you would have the woman that brought you into this world and the woman that will take you out of it.

   America is shocked & disgusted when Bill Clinton admits he had sexual relations with Hilary.

   Bye, bye, Miss Canadian Pie,,,Drove my Ski-Doo, To the igloo.................................................. *This idea was stupid,, Sorry*

   Long story short: Roses and violets are their appropriate colours,,,, thus I find you attractive.

   I bet the tickle fights in jail are legendary.

   There is a difference from being catwoman and catlady...

   Caroline Kennedy has been appointed as the new U.S. Ambassador to Japan. You'd think after all these years we'd stop trying to avenge Pearl Harbor.

   Do unto others before they can do unto you.

   I'm old enough to remember when the lamest thing in the world was to take pictures of yourself, like you had no friends

   sometimes I think love is like bigfoot......other people claim they have seen it & experienced it but I don't think I ever will

   "George W. Bush is nicknamed '43' because he was the 43rd President of the United States. Barrack Obama is nicknamed '44' because that is how many people have signed up for Obamacare."

   If you have crazy friends, you have everything.

   Just anounced if you own a MAC you can now access the Obamacare website