Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
Sometimes I use words I don't understand so I can sound more photosynthesis. 
A new study shows that young adults suffering from insomnia are at higher risk of a stroke. So, that information should help you finally get some sleep.
Women who believe 'the way to a man's heart is through his stomach' is why divorce lawyers are so rich.
I was going to LIKE and compliment your FB pic, but I'm not a good liar.
A selfie a day keeps the daddy issues at bay
Don't forget to tell someone you miss them just because you're horny today
I think ugly people have children just to prove to everyone they had sex.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you break the monotony.
Dear Smart Phone, I would really wish if you spent more time with me than your Charger
I wish everyone a happy new year, and hope you all have a great 1982. With love, from everyone here at the alzheimers society.
My heart says yes but my wife says no!
Well I thought about texting you first and it’s the thought that counts
Pro Tip: If you serve meth at a party, you don't have to buy food. Serving pot on the other hand has the opposite effect.
When Obama became POTUS, I had nothing. 6 years later, I still have most of it....
Just told the guy at the second drive-thru window that the guy at the first drive-thru window wants to fight him.
When I notice a stranger eavesdropping on my conversation I get really excited because for once someone other than my beer can is listening!
When I see a drink written “non-alcoholic”, it makes me feel very violent.
Easter is coming up soon. the parents with multiple kids are kinda lucky......you'll have more than 1 chocolate bunny in the refrigerator & we know they like to reproduce.....never-ending supply of chocolate
Compassion is the basis of morality.
New research shows that seniors can improve their memory by looking after their grandchildren once a week. Because nothing improves a person’s memory like frantically trying to remember where they left their grandchild. 