Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Me without you is like a nerd without braces, A shoe without laces, aSentenceWithoutSpaces

   is trying out for "Home School Musical"

   ~ Free Tibet! (with purchase of 2nd Tibet of equal or lesser value)

   was blinded by your beauty, so I am gonna need your name and number for insurance purposes...

   knows that God only created so many perfect heads. All the rest, he covered with hair.

   was uncool before uncool was cool.

   says if you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space

   is wondering if a man is standing in the middle of the forrest and there is no women around to hear him, is he still wrong?

   wishes the Live Feed and News Feed would make up and get back together.

   Facebook = just giving people another way to air out dirty laundry online. 1,000,000 satisfied customers daily. : )

   can't find Sesame Street on his/her GPS, Do you know how to get to Sesame Street?

   notices that ever since they invented Viagra; I never get called to 'stand=in' for John Holmes anymore....

   Woke up this morning, looked down and one of my toes was missing, There was a note stuck to my foot that said 'Gone To Market'

   really thinks Myspace is a female...So many mood swings and changes.

   watching "Up". Just so you know, his thing for the next two weeks or so will be suddently interrupting his sentences by shouting "Squirrel!" and staring off into the distance.

   Playing dead not only comes in handy when face to face with a bear, but also at important business meetings.

   ..bets living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.

   facing facts; his only hope is the lottery.

   officially rocks!! In your face paper and scissors......you got nothing on me. Not a damn thing!*narrow eyes* especially you paper!! yeah!*shifty eyes*

   Found my halloween costume and I'm  trying it out by walking through the intensive care unit dressed as the grim reaper