Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   stuck in second gear.

   drinking till I'm someone else's problem

   Just figured out Blues Clues!!!!

   hitting higher highs, and lower lows

   offering to buy 85% of GM with 10% more than the Government offer. payment will be by Creit Card.

   Bad Spellers Untie!

   Jon & Kate's marital counselor.

   cooler then the other side of the pillow

   the funny thing about this message is that one you realize its pointless its too late to stop ;)

   people are really clever on facebook they always now what day it is and they always want to tell you its friday

   microwaving metal objects.

   's inner child has diaper rash.

   wondering if its cool in China to get English words tattooed on their arms.

   planning on living forever- so far, so good

   trying to figure out how to set my laser printer to stun

   absolutely willing to work on weekends ... granted that weekdays are off.

   wants to merge MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.

   knows is all. I just cant remember it all at once!

   ashamed of what he did for a klondike bar

   only got 4 minutes to save the world