Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   it's ok to kiss a fool, it's ok to let a fool kiss you, but never let a kiss fool you.

   you only live once, but if you live it right, once is enough.

   I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got !"

   Ever feel like stapling someones ear to their desk and slam a sticky note on their head that says "Help me, my ear is stuck to the table"?

   You're my nothing. Why? Because nothing lasts forever.

   going to watch earth hour on T.V

   This program contains graphic material! Jergens and Kleenex optional!

   My name is soo much action, it should be a f*ckng verb!

   "Love" is purely a chemical imbalance of serotonin, dopamine, & norepinephrine. It is nothing magical or "special"; just simply an irregularity in the brain; a "two-faced high"

   eaten so many skittles shes peeing rainbows!

   Got up this morning and thought 'it looks nice out'....so I'll leave it out.

   Played Tiger Woods PGA Tour '10 the other day. Funny thing was that the 'cheat codes' were already put into the game.

   100 people get swine flu and everyone wears a mask... 1,000 people get aids and no one wears a condom... Makes you wonder a little...

   In about 40-50 years from now, there sure is going to be a lot of old women walking around with tattooes.

   still a virgin, but this is an old status

   age has nothing to do with experience... and everything to do with ability

   Hey girl, take off your make up, maybe we know eachoter

   If you can make a girl laugh - you can make her do anything.

   I lost my virginity, can I have yours?

   It felt good to turn my lights out yesterday for Earth Day. On hindsight,i probably shouldn't have been driving at the time.