Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Who told you, you were special? The lady driving that little bus?

   wants a holiday that somehow follows closely to the 1966 movie: The Endless Summer...... any volunteers?

   as I once heard from a Scottsman "Well Oil Beef Hooked"!

   If con is the opposite of pro, what's the opposite of progress?

   All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening

   Its very ironic how Toyota's slogan is "Moving Forward!"

   What do you mean life is to short?... Its the longest bloody thing you could ever go through!

   I like my women like I like my coffee.... I don't like coffee

   You must be a parking ticket... cause you got fine written all over you "Giggidi Giggidi Giggidi GOO" !

   Lohan now suing mozilla "FireFox" for alledged misuse of her other feisty alias "FireCrotch"

   It's costing taxpayers $85 million to send out census reminders...BRILLIANT!

   OVER all the Toyota jokes already!! We got the point weeks ago. Please start thinking of a new failed device to crack on...cause the repetitiveness is quite frankly effing annoying....Thank You!!

   Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done.

   I'm excited for the one day of the year when green's meaning shifts from saving the environment to polluting our major organs

   If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven't completely understood the situation.

   R.I.P. Corey Haim.Lost Boys Forever.1971-2010

   it was once said that corey haim couldnt act the part of a corpse, way to show em corey, way to show em.

   Money talks...but all mine ever says is good-bye.

   The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.

   According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.