Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   The problem with being young is sometimes we don't stop to think, the problem with getter older is sometimes we forget what we were thinking about.

   .....So people wanna live in "Avatar" world...wtf? Have they not seen "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory"?

   Procrastination has it's good side. You always have something to do tomorrow.

   Every once in a brownish-purple moon, I worry that I might be colorblind.

   ever noticed on sponge bob that krusty crab is in bikini bottom...?

   if you're not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem

   'GO GREEN AND USE BOTH SIDES OF THE TOLIET ROLL'

   Sticks an stones will break my bones, but This Shovel will knock you the F*ck out!!

   passed a homeless guy on the way to the Coinstar machine today. "Sorry, I have no change"...man was that awkward.....

   Congrats to Obama for his Oscar win for best acting by a Politician last night ! !

   congrats to obama's teleprompter on its best supporting win at the oscars last night

   The hottest love has the coldest end !!!, Boyfriends come and go, but friends r forever.. enjoy ur SINGLE life

   EVERY man agrees with his woman until she opens her mouth (to talk !)

   golf helps him maintain his higher math skills.

   working today to stamp out, eliminate and erradicate redundancy...

   When I die, I'm hoping that I have left a mark. As long as it's not in my underwear.

   forcing herself out of bed and off to work and thinking that retirement is wasted on the old!

   sharing his loneliness with a cup of Nescafé

   just found an excellent heroin dealer! His name is Al Vishniac and his address is 987 E. 7th st, Apt. 4-A.

   we know its women's day today so ladies will you stop flooding facebook with ur stupid updates and liking other women updates.. its not your birthday