Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Life would be easier if you could mark people as spam.

   I know two wrongs doesn't make a right, but I'm determined to find out just how many wrongs will.

   I need a way to change my relationship status to "Out of Order" or "Temporarily Out of Service."

   I didn't realize until Facebook that most of my friends are wannabe farmers, gangsters or cooks.

   I like the new "like" button to "like" someone's response to a status they possibly "like." So, like, when can they add a dis-"like" button? You know, like to use on this status.

   I'm dedicating this status update to all the statusless people out there. Stay strong.

   Hurricane Watch for south Texas, blame it on George W. Bush....

   I swear the vending machine starts talking to me when I'm on a diet. @Squishy_Penguin

   Run little rabbit! Run!

   thinks its quite funny that my mate with Attention Deficit Disorder drives a Focus.....

   You guys seriously f**k to Justin Beiber? That's sad.

   It's so hot outside! I just saw a squirrel fanning his nuts.

   Type 2204355 and hit I'm feeling lucky in google... worth it

   made in heaven

   You are A-Attractive, B-Beautiful, C-Charming, D-Dear to me, E-Exciting, F-Funny, G-Godsent...H-Hehehe, I-Im, J-Just, K-Kidding...

   always feels so weird after having hot dreams about my friends. I find it hard to look them in the eye for the few days after.

   Don't tell God how big your problems are, tell your problems how big your God is.

   Africans finally have the chance to tell the English to go back to their own country!

   It's Raining Men! Hallelujah! - It's Raining Men! Hey, hey!!!- Wait, nope it's just raining.....figures!

   trying to develop a life off of facebook.....as you can see, its not working.....