Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating


Search Messages:
Page: 5595 of 6446

   messageicon is single...but you're welcome to change that as long as your female and emotionally stable without the use of medication.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 18:59 by ff1241 Comments (2)  


   messageicon So, this freed Chilean miner walks into a bar, hot chick buys him a drink & says "Your place or mine?"
←Rate | 10-13-2010 18:25 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've got the 28th pick in my Fantasy Chilean miner league. Let's hope there's some good ones still down there.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 18:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its Couples Week! Copy And Paste This With the Date When You Got Together! Well, since I'm single I think I'll just go have casual, no strings attached sex and not have deal with remembering about the date of it.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 17:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The lawyer for Brett Favre should use this defense regarding the pics "He was making a pass at his wife and another woman intercepted it"
←Rate | 10-13-2010 16:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm heavily armed...and not afraid to flab them in your face! :P
←Rate | 10-13-2010 16:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎2 packet of Crisps were walking along the road. Passing car stops and the driver asked if they would like a lift. "No thanks," said the crisps "We're Walker's''
←Rate | 10-13-2010 16:22 by @dylan_shann Comments (0)  


   messageicon Those Chilean miners are gonna be so surprised when they find out they were really on Big Brother this whole time.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 16:20 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Skort, skirt in the front, shorts in the back; it's like a mullet for your ass
←Rate | 10-13-2010 16:08 by ANGELA Comments (0)  


   messageicon People should have to pass an IQ test to use the self-checkout section.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 15:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon An "open relationship" is when both people are cheating on each other and want everyone else to know.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 15:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Based on the way it's being used "LOL" must stand for "OK"
←Rate | 10-13-2010 15:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet those Chilean miners going to be pissed when they have to go back to work at 5 in the morning tomorrow.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 15:48 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fastest way to piss me off? Tell me to "settle down."
←Rate | 10-13-2010 15:46 by Marshall the Great Comments (3)  


   messageicon I think It's funny that my mom has figured out how to tag me in pics he upload to Facebook but the clock on his VCR has been wrong since 1987.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 15:40 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Think you've had a bad day ! ! ! One of the chilean miners has just been told he forgot to clock on.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 15:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Would you tap that???..I wouldnt even poke it on facebook!!!!
←Rate | 10-13-2010 15:26 by BOO Comments (0)  


   messageicon "just wants less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done. "
←Rate | 10-13-2010 15:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes you feel like a million bucks..sometimes you feel like a foodstamp.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 14:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon packing his bags...going on a guilt trip!
←Rate | 10-13-2010 14:44 Comments (0)  




Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left