Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   waving the rebel flag and burning the rainbow flag

   Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! -Librarians arguing.

   Can someone get the Supreme Court to send Mizzou back to the Big 12

   Cat burglar: Quietly steals all your valuables Dog burglar: Eats your ham, sleeps in bed with you for awhile, wakes you up to go out at 3am..

   thanks to the awesome foreign policy you have created an endless wave of turmôil in Mid East. Thanks morica for playing divide and rule for cheap oîl

   To the guys mocking Religion and the Prophets. This is what the people of those times did. They did not believe despite inevitable proof and this is what you r doing and more like will continue to do. Even if you

   So does this mean that Kanye can finally marry himself?

   Let's hear it for AIDS! Well played Supreme Court.

   If religions teach peace, how come they cannot achieve peace?

   I don't care about gay marriage or the confederate flag. I care about Beer.... Is it 5 o'clock yet?

   The first rule of the Condescending Club is.... Oh, nevermind. You'd never understand even if I explained it to you..

   Sharks in the ocean? what's next, birds flying in the sky? when will the craziness end?

   I'll never be the one to cast the first stone, but I'll sure as hell cast the second one.

   Congrats USA. Always one step behind Canada and one step closer to being Canada...now give up your guns...it's your destiny. [/Palpatine]

   Sure, my glass is half full. But my beer is half empty

   Same sex marriage...because everyone deserves to be miserable.

   Just enrolled in college to be divorce lawyer and become a millionaire since gay marriage is now legal

   It's a Great Day for Male Lesbians! Let's go eat some tacos and celebrate!!

   Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia. There’s a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.

   Why does it look like some of my friends took their profile pic with an old Polaroid Camera?