Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   People who type awe when you mean aww, look up the definition of awe. I’ll wait. Yeah, see? So stop doing that.

   I don't see what the big deal is with the legalization of pot in Washington D.C. is...I always thought those people were smoking something anyway.

   "I'm not very photogenic" in other words you're ugly.

   Only in SC, would they close schools, universities, libraries, and declare a 'state of emergency' for snow that other states would consider to be a 'snow dusting'. I'm sure Boston would love type of snow that SC has that melts before noon.

   "The internet is so cool!....I just wish it was more like the electric company" - said no one ever

   Welcome to my bedroom,this is where the magic happens.....and by that I mean this is where I read my Harry Potter books.

   the traditional 15th anniversary gift is crystal, but my wife gave me wood.

   If that dress isn't Gold and White I'm not living

   Free middle fingers for everyone!!!

   Did I log into Facebook or Pinterest? I'll tell you what color that dress is.. It's who and why do you all give a f**k!"

   I'm nothing like this generation. I just live in it.

   Fcuk the damn dress!

   Shut up. The dress is grey! - Dog

   Stevie Wonder says the dress is black, but then again everything is black to him.

   I'm like Hank Williams Jr. but instead of all my rowdy friends coming over tonight they are getting married and having children before me

   Brian Williams said the dress is gold and white because he was there when it was made.

   They say you should drink 8 glasses of water a day but honestly you can drink one a day and be fine just don't do cocaine

   You had me at "Hello".... and then lost me when you kept talking instead of dropping to your knees.

   I'm terribly sorry, but I just don't have the energy to walk a mile in your shoes so I'm just going to stand here and judge you instead.

   Your happiness is right around the corner... too bad the Earth is round.